No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
