I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize