When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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