two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
