i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
zippers are such a cool invention
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
i need some magic done to my vagina
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
