This is not my ceiling
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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