Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
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