I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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