It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
