Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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