how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
