did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
