I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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