I just made out with a guy for $7.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
