So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
