well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize