I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I have aggressive nipples.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
