I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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