yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
