i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
How external is "for external use only"?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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