Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
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i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
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You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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