After last night, I could never be a politician.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
