dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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