can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
