I hate all girls vehemently.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
