So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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