The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
