sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
