plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
