i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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