The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
