We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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