Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
