I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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