I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
