I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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