After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
