bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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