i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
