Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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