no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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