I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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