Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
