is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize