dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i've created a new STD.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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