Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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