Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
