remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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