im six kinds of drunk right now
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
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I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
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threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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