I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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