that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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