even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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