Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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