have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
