Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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