My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Enjoy the penises
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize