How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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