***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
