Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?

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(207): View more from Maine

Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."

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(330): View more from Ohio

Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.

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(516): View more from New York

he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in

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