Screwed.edu
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Damn victory sex feels great
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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