Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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