i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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